4 Sept 2025
I often feel sad for no reason. Drained, overwhelmed, lonely, disappointed in life. The kind of sadness that doesn’t have a clear trigger — no breakup, no tragedy, no financial collapse. Just… a quiet gray weight that sits on my chest and whispers: What is the point?
For years, I hated myself for this. I thought sadness was a weakness. I have an amazing career, a healthy body, a passport full of stamps, a wardrobe full of “good stuff.” What else could I possibly want? Feeling sad in the middle of all that felt like betrayal — like I was ungrateful, broken, defective.
But here is what I have finally learned: sadness is not failure. Sadness is human.
Image: Midjourney x The Sandy Times
Sadness as biology
Sadness isn’t random — it is a built-in function. Neuroscientists call it an adaptive emotion. It slows you down, forces reflection, and helps you process loss, disappointment, or change. Unlike happiness, which energises, sadness makes you pause — which is exactly what keeps you from making reckless decisions when you are hurt.
Research from the University of New South Wales shows that sadness sharpens memory and improves judgment. Psychologists have also found that moderate sadness increases empathy, making people more attentive to others. Even the physical signs — tears — have a purpose: studies suggest crying helps regulate stress hormones and releases oxytocin, which calms the nervous system.
So no, sadness isn’t weakness. It is a survival mechanism.
The myth of “No reason”
We often say “I feel sad for no reason.” But usually, there is one — just not dramatic enough to justify. Maybe it is chronic stress, micro-disappointments, loneliness you have ignored, or simply an overloaded brain.
Psychiatrists talk about allostatic load: the cumulative wear-and-tear of daily stress. Even if nothing catastrophic happens, the accumulation of small stressors eventually spills into sadness, fatigue, or anxiety. It isn’t that you are ungrateful — it is that your nervous system is waving a flag, asking for a reset.
Image: Midjourney x The Sandy Times
Why fighting sadness makes it worse
Wellness culture loves to tell us to “just stay positive.” But suppressing sadness backfires. Studies show that emotional suppression raises cortisol, increases heart rate, and worsens mental health over time. In other words: pretending you are fine is more damaging than simply admitting you aren’t.
Allowing sadness — acknowledging it without judgment — activates the prefrontal cortex, the brain’s regulation center. This lowers amygdala activity (the panic alarm of the brain) and calms the body. The simple act of saying “I feel sad” is neurologically powerful.
Learning to sit with sadness
So I have stopped punishing myself for it. When sadness comes, I don’t drown in it — but I don’t run from it either. I try to understand it. Sometimes I journal. Sometimes I cry in bed and call it therapy. Sometimes I pity myself — not in a pathetic way, but in a tender way. Because pity is just another word for compassion.
And compassion is love.
Image: Midjourney x The Sandy Times
How to live with sadness without letting it swallow you
- Acknowledge it.
- Get curious.
- Release it physically.
- Don’t indulge endlessly.
- Find small comforts.
- Remember it passes.
Loving yourself means loving all of you
We are taught that self-love means confidence, positivity, and glow. But maybe real self-love is gentler: allowing sadness without shame, embracing fragility as part of being alive.
Because the opposite of sadness isn’t happiness. The opposite of sadness is denial.
And I had rather be honestly sad than artificially fine.
If you are feeling sad, it is perfectly fine. Embrace the feeling, let it out, and maybe even cry along with a comforting playlist. The best sad playlists are already gathered for you in the STR App — so you don’t have to search, just feel. Download the STR App now and let the music hold you.
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